A Lonely Pillow

When you pull the comforter back and snuggle underneath the sheets, at some point you turn over to see that unused pillow in need of a head to rest on it. You’ve thought often about the day you’d turn over and see the man/woman you’ve dreamed about, prayed for, or imagined laying next to you. You know that he/she is out there, waiting. You know that anyone can sleep on the pillow, but you need for a special one to rest on it. For the moment, you can only pull that lonely pillow close to your body and hold it tight.

T.R.U.T.H

Dealing with the truth about yourself and others is an eye-opening and hurtful experience. For me, T.R.U.T.H means To Reach Underneath The Hurt. It means building up courage to fight the demons that hold you captive. My truth came when I had to admit that I was an addict. It hit me even harder when the state took my children away from me. Another truth overwhelmed me as I thought about all the men that raped me of my innocence and stole my childhood. I examined the truth about family members who I looked up to, but should’ve looked at, instead. It was mind blowing for me to look at myself and figure out why I was who I became. I realized that I had courage all along, but was afraid and resistant to fight. What I thought would tear me down gave me more strength and power over my truth

Just One More Day

It’s amazing how much of a difference one day makes. Some people want one more day to spend with a loved one when he/she knows their time is coming to an end. You have those who want one more day to find a loved. There are those who want one more day to right some wrongs, or continue to do wrong. Yes, one day can make a difference. It can show you God’s power and the Satan’s abilities. It can take you through hell and back; allowing you to choose whom you shall serve. One day can bring you down from your own throne, or bring you up and out of your valley. When you say, “just one more day”, expect nothing and appreciate everything.

Sharing Your Bed

When you have been single for a long time and the one you’ve been waiting and searching for has finally come along, you may find it difficult to share your bed. In the past you went to his/her bed knowing that if things didn’t work out, you could always go back to your own bed. Maybe there were times when you invited him/her to a sleepover and he/she took all the cover. Now that someone has a key to your bedroom door, you may find the adjustment a little harder to adjust to, mentally. You can no longer lock your door. You become used to things being the way you put them and the way you’ve gotten used to them being. Now, real love is ruffling your sheets and changing the comforter.

Damned If You Do

If the man/woman you’re with has trust issues, the relationship is doomed. No matter what you do, you can never appease that person. Every place you go, and every person you talk to, smile at, and look at will be in question. If you fail to answer your phone when he/she calls, you’re going to be accused of something. If you do your best to give them all the attention you have available, it’s still not going to be enough because the one time you fail to give that attention, will be the time when they are full of doubt. You may end up spending more energy trying to convince them that you can be trusted, than actually enjoying the relationship.

Window Shopping

You’re out but not necessarily looking for anything in particular; just hoping something catches your eye. When you see it in the window, you smile. You’re thinking, that would look nice on me, I would look good in that, and I can work with it. Then, you say, “Nah!” that might to be what I want, I don’t know if I’m ready to make that investment, and maybe it won’t be my size.” In reality, you won’t know until you try it own. Don’t worry about the price you’ll pay for it because when you realize that it looks nice on your, and you look good in that, and you worked it, then the cost would’ve been worth it-even if you decide you don’t want it anymore, or you have to put it to the back of the closet.

Window shopping is used as a metaphor to how we approach relationships. We aren’t always looking for the perfect man/woman, but sometimes one comes our way and take our breath away. Sometimes we go out looking, and what we find isn’t what we were looking for-then refuse to buy into love again. Love isn’t perfect. It’s about investing time, patience, respect, honesty, and effort. It doesn’t always work out as we hope, and sometimes it does. Starting a new relationship is like window shopping; you have to try it on and see how it feels. You have to walk around in it, and see if it conforms to your needs and expectations. And as long as you work at making it fit right, look right, and feel right then you have invested well.

No commitment required

Men aren’t afraid of commitment; women don’t give standards to commit to because they settle for whatever he offers. Men won’t commit to honesty because women are lying by pretending to be something they are not. Men won’t commit to loving a woman because women are given the lovin’ long before they are loved. Men don’t communicate because women aren’t talking about a man stimulating her mind; but her body. Men can’t love a woman who doesn’t love herself. Men don’t commit because dating doesn’t require commitment.

The Look

Her cold, dark eyes peer deep into you, cutting like a samurai sword through the heart into pieces and penetrating the core of your existence. It’s that look of a woman whispers screaming you’re not taking care of her needs; neglecting her, lying and cheating. It’s the look when she’s tired of you and has had enough. Or, the look that says, “I love you more than you know” because you love on her and in her the way she’s wanted all her life. She has the look that reveals her vulnerability and weakness for only you; letting you know that you’re the best man she could ever have… Wanda N. Stanley©2010

We Raise Them Right-They Go Left

As a parent, we mission to raise our children with morals and values. We validate our children so they will know their worth. We teach them right from wrong and even tell them about the mistakes we made at their age; just so that they don’t repeat the same. But, no matter how right we raise them, there is the possibility of them going left. Sometimes they don’t feel what you’re saying until they do it for themselves. Sometimes they don’t understand what they don’t know for themselves. Their choice to do what you told them not to do is just that…their choice. And although it hurts to see your child to go through any unnecessary discomforts of life, it’s the only way for them to have knowledge of life. As long as you raise them right, allow them to go left; eventually they’ll make a u-turn.

When He Leave

I know you wonder why he left, and if there was anything you could’ve done to make him stay, but don’t wonder for too long. Some men have excuses and some have reasons. There comes a time when you have to let him walk or even run out of your life. Make sure you are traveling in the opposite direction. When he leaves you broken hearted, don’t think that every man will hurt you or that you’ll never love again. If he leaves you broke, don’t deny the fact that the relationship was about the money. When he leaves you for another woman, don’t blame the other woman; he wanted to go anyway.

However, this doesn’t apply if you pushed him out of your life or never let him in your heart