A good man (poem)

It’s been three days since you walked out that door

But I would swear it seems like three months

I was foolish and I realized it the next morning

When I woke up alone and lost without you

Because on the day you left I let my pride hide the truth

And not admit that I really didn’t want you to go

Knowing I would’ve actually fell to my knees crying

Holding onto your legs as though my life depended on it

They say an independent black woman would never put herself out like that

Never show that she has to beg a man to stay even if she was wrong

I say to hell with them because this woman has to fall from her own pedestal

I must show you that I’m not too proud to beg for a second chance

Ask you for your forgiveness and be in my life once again

I wouldn’t care if my girlfriends say I was weak

I’m acting like a puppy dog without its master

For they don’t know what type of man I let walk out of my life

They have no inclination as to how you made love to me

Taking me to heights unknown, to the wildest of imagination

The way you have me spelling your name as I reach my climax

And after, can do nothing but fall into a deep peaceful sleep

Maybe it was that time in the kitchen that has me so bewildered at this moment

When you came home late and I started an argument just because

And then you wouldn’t let me get another word in before you cornered me

Made me forget what I was mad about and the dinner burned

How you work from morning til night and sometimes on weekends

Making sure I wanted for nothing, I had everything I needed

See I put up this front for my girlfriends had them believing

That I had you whipped, sorrowful without me

They thought you couldn’t breathe had I not given you air

All this I did to make sure no one could look down at me for any reason

Forgetting where we started from and how we got to be where we are now

You being the man you are put up with all my changes and foolishness

I ignored you when you tried to tell me of my destructive path

So now that I see for myself I must break it down, and come back black

Ole skool style, and I’m sure you will understand

I know you’re a good man, a strong black brotha who never once

Forgot how to treat a sista, a Nubian queen in your eyes

Showing a sista that not all black men are dogs, still a few cats left

Now it is my time to show you a strong black sista who’s determined to keep her man

I pawned the diamond bracelets, diamond rings, gold chains and even the pearls

Their value is insignificant compared to what holds more worth to me

Went as far as to cut up the credit cards and cash in on the cd’s and bonds

Closed out the account that you faithfully deposited into every week

Sold those paintings that had no cultural meaning or purpose

I went out, got a second job and stopped by the dealership

Traded in the Bentley for that drop-top candy apple red Rolls Royce

You know the one with the peanut-butter leather and suede interior

With a wood grain steering wheel and twelve inch woolfers

It’s the same one you keep a picture of in your drawer next to the bed

Along with that homemade card I gave you after our first date

Baby I know this can’t make up for all the mistakes I’ve made

But I promise that from everyday here on, I will cherish your love

Never taking you for granted, a good man, my man.